Moving On

Life at PBC is so much fun. Last week, the quad and I decided to make 6 of our favorite people giant heart-shaped cookies in celebration of Valentines Day. As we were baking in the kitchen, singing and dancing to Aretha Franklin, giddy with excitement for our special surprise and covered in frosting and cookie dough, I had a moment that I will never forget. I've had a lot of those in the last 7 months. I don’t know if I will remember specifically what I was doing; I will, however, remember the joy and happiness that I felt. I love those moments. It is such a beautiful feeling, when you realize that you are doing something or feeling something that you will always remember.

The last time I felt this way was the night before my older brother, Thaddaeus, moved to New York. It was the week after Christmas and we decided to play one last game of monopoly before the big move. I'll never forget that moment. We were in the bonus room of my house, sitting around a little poker table, wearing top hats and sipping hot cocoa. It was such a strange moment because I think that my brothers and I all got the same revelation at the same time. It was then that we realized that our lives were changing. Thaddaues was officially crossing the line between young adult and man. He was moving across the country, following a dream and leaving the nest for good. We all realized it was our last night together. Our last night as kids. Our last night going to bed in the rooms we had grown up in and hearing the familiar sounds of our childhood home. I know that I can always go back, I am always welcome and will always be. But I also know that my life will never be the same again. My childhood is over. I have moved out and am taking the first steps toward adulthood.

What an interesting concept, growing up. Whenever I think about this, my mind is boggled with the harsh reality that I can never return to my life as a kid in my parents’ house. I have accepted that truth, but have just not fully swallowed the concept. I don’t like thinking about it. I’m not holding onto the past, nor am I sad about growing up. In fact, I feel the opposite. I am very much looking forward to the future and am extremely excited to see where God takes me next. I am just still in the process of letting go of my life as a child in my parents’ home, and fully accepting my new role as a young adult being released into the world. Right now, I think I am almost all the way there. I am still under my parents’ covering, but I am on a smooth trail that leads away from them. What an interesting time. I know that the next few years are going to be very interesting and will be successful in leading me down a new path with new memories and people to share them with.